What we talked about
Leigh Monichon shares a deeply personal and practical roadmap for navigating special education:and why she built Aspire Advocacy to help families do it with confidence and compassion.
Show notes
Leigh Monichon once put her financial future on the line to sue a school district on behalf of her own son:knowing that if she lost, the legal costs could run to hundreds of thousands of dollars against an income that couldn’t absorb that kind of hit. She won. That same “mama bear” willingness to fight, combined with a decade of volunteering as an unpaid advocate and a career in job development and sales, is what eventually led her to build Aspire Advocacy:the business she describes as the work she was born to do.
What we covered
- The special education system is intentionally opaque, Leigh explained: schools are legally required to offer a “free and appropriate public education” but cannot afford to tell every family what all the options are, because if they did, the district would go bankrupt. Most parents accept the first answer they get:and the system counts on that. She said, “if we say no to everybody, most parents will go away,” and confirmed that is exactly true.
- Leigh shut down her son’s classroom by organizing other parents to formally complain:after learning the room had no trained teacher, multiple health and safety violations, and a student assaulting other children. She noted she had to call each parent individually to embarrass them into joining the effort. The number two person in special education for the entire county was sent to handle her personally.
- One of her most cited success stories involved a seven-year-old boy who was violent, destroying rooms, and had smacked a senior district administrator. It took three to four years of behavior management before anyone discovered he was dyslexic. Once he received reading support, “there was not a dry eye in the room” when he read aloud at an IEP meeting. At his most recent meeting, he was a leader in junior high with a large friend group and needed minimal support.
- Leigh described her Columbo-style approach to navigating IEP meetings: she plays curious rather than confrontational, asking school staff to show her where specific rules come from. “I’ve never heard of that rule before:could you send me where I could find that?” is harder to argue with than a direct challenge, and it puts the documentation burden on the district.
- On empathy and professional distance: Leigh said that caring deeply for a child but not having “your heart on the table” the way a parent does actually makes her a more effective advocate. When a district says something unkind about a client’s child, she can stay composed and strategic in a way the parent cannot.
- Aspire Advocacy’s future includes a new partner:a former special education department head with a master’s in the field:who joined a few years ago and whom Leigh credits with keeping the business modern and ensuring it will continue beyond her own tenure. Stanford’s autism group recently invited them to speak, and they are rebuilding that recording after a tech failure on Stanford’s end.
About Leigh
Leigh Monichon is the co-founder of Aspire Advocacy, a special education advocacy practice based in Santa Clara County, California, that has been serving families for over 11 years. She became an advocate after decades of fighting for her own nonverbal autistic son and completing volunteer advocacy work before formally launching the business.
- LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/leighmonichon
- Website: https://aspireadvocacy.com
Episode 65 of the PreVetted Podcast.
Full transcript
Federico Ramallo (00:00) Welcome back to the PreVetted Podcast where we spotlight extraordinary people and remarkable talent reshaping our world. Today we’re joined by co-founder of Aspire Advocacy. Leigh is a dedicated special education advocate with over a decade of experience helping families navigate the complex and often overwhelming
special education system. She has a background spanning advocacy, employment development, even sales. Leigh brings a unique blend of persistence, communication and compassion to her work. She has supported countless families in Santa Clara County and beyond, ensuring students’ best interests remain at the heart of every conversation. Leigh, welcome to the show. I’m excited to hear your journey and insights.
Leigh Monichon (00:49) Thank you. I am delighted to be here and appreciate the opportunity to talk about something that I feel very passionately about.
Federico Ramallo (00:56) Amazing, amazing. So tell us the story behind founding Aspire Advocacy. What inspired you to get yourself involved into that work?
Leigh Monichon (01:07) Great question. Many decades ago I had my first child and we knew there was something wrong and didn’t know what. It was like I had this little package but I didn’t know what was in there.
the school isn’t very good at kids like that. They just kind of tend to put them in classes where they work with them a little bit, but it tends to be what they call moderate to severe. So they don’t push them that hard. And he was showing these signs that he was really bright because he was very interested in computers and pretty good at him at a year and a half old, which, okay, he can’t be as disabled as they say if he can do that. So I had to try to figure out what it was inside him.
because their tests don’t show any of that. And then I met this person who a few years later gave him a way to communicate because he’s autistic and not verbal. And then this person sounded like a scam to me, but it turned out that it really revealed who his personality was. And years later, I had been in job development. I’d been in… And that’s a tough gig.
It’s a really tough gig and I enjoyed it and it was satisfying but they were sending me clients that were beyond my training so I’m like I was visiting the person who brought communication into my son’s life and she was very ill so I’d go over there every Saturday to bring her food and just keep her company and I said I can’t I can’t do this job anymore I don’t know what to do next she goes Leigh you were meant to be a special education advocate and I’ve already got your first client
And I thought about it and I said, you’re right, because I’d been doing it on a volunteer basis for all these years. And here I was at a point in my life where I could afford to not earn very much and build a business for a bit. And
I gave two weeks notice and started the business with a friend.
Federico Ramallo (03:03) wow! So you pulled the plunge and went right into it.
Leigh Monichon (03:07) I did!
Federico Ramallo (03:08) Amazing.
Leigh Monichon (03:08) They were,
the previous company was giving me clients that I wasn’t trained to support. And I’ve, it was such a bad fit that I was decompressing when I got home rather severely. It was time to go. So yes.
Federico Ramallo (03:24) Right, right. And interesting, you’re thinking about your daughter, right? And I had a similar situation with my son that he was, you know, he’s borderline special education child, or at least, you know, things that you don’t know, right, about our kids, right? And then you have, know, what I’ve done is I…
I started learning about it, right? And there’s so much things that you don’t know that you don’t know that you don’t know, right? Yeah. One of the first things we did is we learned about nutrition and eating healthy, right? Kind of, we have a little baby, we have to figure out how to feed him well, so we have to eat healthy.
to stay around for the baby, was kind of the thinking and the same thing with approach for everything else, so we had to learn a lot of things that we didn’t know yes, but I think that the situation when you get into that situation the situation kind of forces you to mature as you were talking about
Leigh Monichon (04:19) steep learning curve yep
You go from being a human to being a mama bear or a papa bear and things you wouldn’t I wouldn’t do for myself I would do for him without you know without thinking about it There were several times I put my financial future indefinitely on the line for him Because if you’re going to school to sue the school district if you lose lose it can be tens of thousands of tens to hundreds of thousands of dollars
Federico Ramallo (04:42) Right.
Leigh Monichon (04:58) which what I was earning at the time was not recoverable. But for him, yeah.
Federico Ramallo (05:04) Right, and when you take those risks, then great things happen, right?
Leigh Monichon (05:07) No school district cares as much as you do. So yes, if and when you are determined, yes, you can move mountains.
Federico Ramallo (05:17) Right, right. And the immaturity comes from that sense of responsibility that you have for this so vulnerable creature, right? Right. So what are some of the biggest challenges families face when navigating through special education system?
Leigh Monichon (05:25) Yes, exactly.
That is a great question. For me, what I felt like there was a TV show on, it may still be on, it’s called Let’s Make a Deal and you have to choose from one of three curtains. Specialized is kind of like that. They don’t tell you what’s behind the curtains, what all the options are, because they don’t have the budget to offer every child the full options the child might need to receive in a free and appropriate public education.
Federico Ramallo (05:46) Great.
Leigh Monichon (06:02) They can’t tell you all that because if they gave it to everybody they’d go bankrupt and they’d all get fired. So the biggest part is knowing, first of all, knowing what all the options are. And then the second of all is figuring out how to get what is appropriate for your child and preparing a good argument for what appropriate looks like.
So I can know my kid needs that, but how do I get there? Just going in and say, I want this for my kid. Often doesn’t work. There’s a process. So that’s the other thing is knowing the process of how IEPs work. There is an order on how everything works and one needs to know that. So when I take on a client, a big part of what I do is teach them as I can how IEPs work and what the school is expecting from them.
Federico Ramallo (06:22) Right.
Leigh Monichon (06:52) when they are asking for changes or new things for their child.
Federico Ramallo (06:56) Right, right. Yeah, the bureaucracy of the system is so complex, it’s over complicated in purpose to kind of obscure the functionality for the users, right?
Leigh Monichon (07:10) Exactly, and it’s a lot of its budget. A lot of its budget. If we say no to everybody, most parents will go away.
Federico Ramallo (07:13) Right.
Is that true?
Leigh Monichon (07:20) It’s true.
No, it’s true. My son was in a horrible, horrible class and I was complaining at the state level and the number two person in special ed in the county was, was sent to handle sent to handle me. And I tried to get the other parents to complain to that. They’re like, we’ll see how you do.
Thanks guys. And it wasn’t until I called and kind of embarrassed each last one of them that I got kind of a group and we got the class shut down. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. Again, this is more for, I would do this for my kid where I probably wouldn’t do it for me, but the room needed to get shut down and we did.
Federico Ramallo (07:39) Right.
Right, because the dynamic was not working out.
Leigh Monichon (07:59) The environment
was unsafe. We didn’t have a trained teacher. There were multiple health and safety issues. One kid was beating everybody else up. I mean, there…
Federico Ramallo (08:08) Right, right. I had a similar situation with my son where we sent him to a private school, there were changing teachers all the time, right? And then we learned from a… So basically at the end of the year, they would have to grade the students. And everything was great, everything was great until at the end of the year it’s like…
your kid is not going to pass because it’s not good enough. And ⁓ they didn’t say it to my kid, they said it for other kids. ⁓ still, that means that they fail throughout the whole year and never tell anything. And it’s a similar thing, but here because it’s private, they kind of obscure that with this false empathy. ⁓ And they said, you’re
Leigh Monichon (08:42) Exactly.
Right.
Federico Ramallo (08:55) And they said this for my kid. They said, your kid is hypersensitive, right? And I said, OK, explain to me the situation, what’s going on, And this was a 20-year-old psychologist that, know, yes. So what was happening is that he was being socially excluded.
Leigh Monichon (09:03) Right. Right.
Great.
Federico Ramallo (09:16) and nobody would say anything about that, right? So then when I saw that happening on a social gathering outside of school, so by the time I had that meeting I said, you go and be socially excluded for months and months and months and then you’re going to be hypersensitive as well, They didn’t have any answer, right? So eventually we pulled him out of that school, we put him to another school and he thrived, right? He was…
Leigh Monichon (09:18) no.
Federico Ramallo (09:42) Yeah, eventually we have to tell him, you know, like, you’re going to this school because we have to finish, we need the piece of paper that are going to give us, just, you know, ignore everybody and move on, right? And the other thing we found in that school is that they having lack of limits, there were not limits. So, you know, that was another issue. And we had a kid bullying other kids. And yeah, you know.
Leigh Monichon (10:06) Yeah.
Federico Ramallo (10:07) and again it’s not necessarily, you I don’t want to turn that kid into a villain, right? but because it’s a social dynamic, right? but anyway yeah
Leigh Monichon (10:14) Yeah. He probably needed help too, but yeah, but you’re
responsible for yours, not him.
Federico Ramallo (10:21) Right, right. So it was very interesting to see that going on, right? And as you said, the parents wouldn’t say anything other than just some comments on the group chat and that was it, right? But they were not willing to go further, right? And because it’s private, were kind of, their interest was the money, right? So yeah, yeah, yeah. So they will shut down.
Leigh Monichon (10:42) Yeah.
Federico Ramallo (10:46) all of those conversations because they wouldn’t want to face the reality of the situation.
Leigh Monichon (10:51) and people
pulling money on their kids.
Federico Ramallo (10:55) Yes, yes. mean, I’m in Mexico, so private school is cheaper and affordable, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So tell us a little bit more about Aspire Advocacy. What do you guys do?
Leigh Monichon (11:01) that’s fair. Yeah, that would be.
What are we doing? Why? so, thank you. What happened is the friend suggested it and I’d heard, I had done volunteer, I’d attended meetings with parents for years just as a volunteer helper, advocate, know, no training, but you know, I read some books and stuff and you know, check some websites out. even often in an IEP,
as the parent, especially if you go by yourself, which a lot of us do, you know, it’s often one parent does it, it can feel very lonely being surrounded by between five and 12 staff people who have all planned what they want to say in advance. And especially if you don’t agree and you don’t know what they know, it’s very intimidating. So just having another warm body there used to help. I used to bring my mother-in-law who spoke English but was from a different country and knew nothing about
anything US special ed, but just so there was somebody on my side. So it’s just, it’s nice to have somebody there. And then from there, I got recruited to a state of California disability support board, which I thought would be good because I’d meet people who could help. It was partly because I was interested in partly because I knew I could meet people who could be, who could help my son in the longterm. So it was a twofer. I’ll admit that.
Federico Ramallo (12:10) Right.
Leigh Monichon (12:31) And then I met some really amazing people there, including the woman I started the business with. So at the time I did, I thought I’ll start a business. Somebody else said, Oh, your friend’s looking to start a business too. And I thought this would be much more fun to do with somebody because two minds in this case are going to be better than one because special ed is a world of a zillion details. And I don’t think anybody can know all of it, but
We had relative strengths. I had the business background. She’d done a lot more advocacy than I had. So we got together and chose our logo and built it from scratch, took some classes. There’s government agency called Score that will help you with a lot of the building blocks of how to build a business. And then we went to parent advocacy
Nonprofits in the area and got their advice because I’d always been part of them. and then started a business 11 years ago and then my friend did send her sister and Then we I started writing a blog post every week because I just quit my job. It was a nonprofit It made no money. I had no money. So we wrote a blog post every week to try to build the business. Well, you do that long enough against eventually you’ll get some rankings
Federico Ramallo (13:39) You
Right.
Leigh Monichon (13:49) that’s how we built the business and then.
We just went from there. It’s…
It’s funny because I thought, I’m interested in this and it’ll be challenging and it is. There are days I’m like, why did I do this? But almost every day it feels like it was what I was meant to do because it’s a subject I’m deeply interested in. I can talk about it for days and no, I won’t keep you that long. And it makes a difference. And even a bad day, which there are, I did my best.
But I have a young man. I would just briefly tell you his story. He was slugging people. He was destroying rooms. He was breaking things. The little guy was about seven or eight. He smacked the number two person in special ed for a huge school district near here. I mean, this kid was just out of control.
It took three or four years before we found out he was dyslexic because the behavior had to get managed. When that kid started reading, there was not a dry eye in the room, mine included, and I’m a tough cookie. And I just had his annual meeting two weeks ago. He’s doing amazing. He’s a leader in his junior high school. He’s got a big group of friends. He’s
active socially, his learning disabilities appear to have all been addressed, he’s at grade level, he needs minimal support. I mean, there’s not much better feeling than that. There’s really not.
Federico Ramallo (15:23) Call that a turnaround, that’s amazing!
Leigh Monichon (15:26) I was going say that’s not is not the process isn’t always that linear linear, but there’s almost always a difference that one can make.
there’s almost always a difference one can make to make the kid’s life better. Now, I’m not saying every kid’s going to go to that level of independence, but yeah, that’s a pretty nice turnaround.
Federico Ramallo (15:49) Right, and that’s when all the effort pays off, right? When you see those changes in result, and the result, and as you said, not all of the kids are going to have such tremendous results, but still, any ⁓ change, any improvement that you can help any kids at the beginning of their life is going to have a tremendous payoff in the future, right?
Leigh Monichon (16:10) The other exactly and the other thing is a parent and you know this is that as a parent did I do everything I could. So a lot of parents I’ll get will be angry and upset. I’ve had parents call me in tears just because things have gone so badly when a parent considered an IEP meeting and say that went really well. I’m so happy with how my kid is doing. I’m so happy with how the school’s treating him and they go from being.
scared, angry, shut down to fully participatory. I have another client. She was so anxious she never spoke. And I provide as much coaching as people like and I always say, you want to talk or do you want me to talk? Because I want the parents to have their voices as much as they want to. And every meeting actually she talks more. And I am just loving.
watching her confidence as her child does better and better at school. I mean, you can see my face. I love this stuff.
Federico Ramallo (17:13) You
Right, because you’re changing people’s lives. Not only the kids, but also the families. Right? Yeah.
Leigh Monichon (17:20) Yes. And with my
son, I look back and I say, did I do everything I could? Yes. Did I do everything right? No. But I did everything I could. And I think as a parent, that’s how I want to look back.
Federico Ramallo (17:30) Right.
Leigh Monichon (17:34) And that’s how want the parents, the families I support to look back. Yes, we did everything we could.
Federico Ramallo (17:39) Right, right. Because mistakes are going to be, you you’re going to commit mistakes throughout the process, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it doesn’t make sense to beat yourself up to saying, well, if I detected this sooner, if I done this sooner, you know, people do the changes when they find out, you know, talking about what you don’t know, you don’t know, right, until you learn, right?
Leigh Monichon (18:01) Correct. Correct.
Federico Ramallo (18:04) and until you don’t have that situation, that problem in front of you that you can do something about it, right? So it’s part of the learning process in my opinion, right?
Leigh Monichon (18:14) Agreed! I still learn stuff all the time. I learned something about six months ago. I’m like, that would have been really helpful to know when my kid was in school. That’s another thing I love about my job is it’s never the same twice. And I am always learning new things because there are just so many… so many variations and so many possible rules and the laws change and I’m never bored.
Federico Ramallo (18:18) You
Right. Right. What do you think are the misconceptions people often have about special ed?
Leigh Monichon (18:46) Good question.
They don’t realize it’s about the money often so they think if they ask they’ll get and Often that’s true, but it’s how you ask and you have to essentially build a case So I think that’s part of it. I think the other part of it is that You can set it and forget it. So you have to have a minimum of The special education meetings called an IEP individualized
individualized educational plan, you have to have a minimum of one a year. Some parents will have one and then they won’t really be in touch again until a year later. And for some kids that can work, but for most kids, you need to check in more often than that. Because you need to make sure if it’s off track, especially if your child is learning to read or has a more significant disability, like reading, like writing, sometimes it’s
You gotta keep a little more of an eye on it.
Federico Ramallo (19:41) Right. When do you think families should engage with Aspire Advocacy? What are the things that they should, signals that they should take into consideration to fill out? Okay, I need to reach out to you.
Leigh Monichon (19:57) Sure. So we serve kids 3 to 22 because those are the ones covered by state and federal rules around education. It’s a different system from birth to 3 and it’s a different system from 22 on. So at the point where you don’t understand why the decision is making what it’s making when they’re not listening to your concerns
And there’s different steps. Here, sometimes they’ll have what’s called an SST meeting, a student study team meeting, I think it is. Don’t quote, the video will recur me on that. But I’m not usually, I’m not involved in those because those aren’t special ed. And what they do is get together and say, I’m concerned. Are you concerned? Are you concerned? Yeah, we got this. And what happens is nothing gets done.
With IEPs, there is a documented process, there are timelines, there are steps that have to happen in a certain order, and there are timelines. So at the point where you’re not feeling heard and delaying several months or even a year or two would harm your child, that’s the time to call me.
The other time is that when your child’s not meeting their goals or the team isn’t listening to you on what the goals should be, then that’s another time.
Federico Ramallo (21:16) Because that’s when they use a bureaucracy to give you excuse not to help your kids. Their kids, right?
Leigh Monichon (21:26) Exactly.
I believe that teachers are doing divine work, I genuinely do, and the system is a business. Those two are not mutually exclusive. The schools tend to put kids on a certain path. And what I can do is really make sure it’s individualized. So if you feel like your kid isn’t getting what they need from one of those paths, again, that’s a good way to do it. Is your child’s…
Education being individualized to his or her needs. That’s what I help with. I do get principals saying, we can’t do that. I said, I kind of thought the first word was individualized. So yeah, I think you can. Those are the sorts of things.
Federico Ramallo (22:09) Right, right. The more I learn about education systems, the more I learn that it’s a factory to produce factory workers, right?
Leigh Monichon (22:24) It’s a production line. was wondering if that was too crass to say, but yeah, I tell parents that it’s kind of like they’re making sausages or you know, some sort of whatever. Not that their kids are sausage. You know what I mean? But yeah, there’s a production line and we’re going to put you kid on the production line and they go through their education and. The kids I serve and their families need a more personalized experience and that is why the schooling. That’s why the school exists. That’s why.
Federico Ramallo (22:25) It’s a production line, yes.
Leigh Monichon (22:53) federal and state laws exist.
Federico Ramallo (22:55) Right, right, I mean you have the desks all the same, all aligned to the front, know, kids in uniform, I don’t know if they’re still using uniform in Santa Clara, you know, kids in uniform, all of that is a system designed to dehumanize you a little bit, but basically designed to push you towards this production line, right? I mean, again, I’m putting up
wide brush for all the institutions. They’re not all like that, but the system is designed that way. So how can you make it personalized if it’s designed as a massive production?
Leigh Monichon (23:38) Exactly. And that serves a lot of kids or we wouldn’t do it that way, but the families I work with, their child is not being served, is not getting his or her needs met.
Federico Ramallo (23:49) Right, right. And I understand the teacher’s dilemma that has 10, 20, 30 kids, know, as many as they can fit in the room and they cannot have the specialized time for each of them, right?
Leigh Monichon (23:58) this.
And that’s a big part of what I do too. I don’t anybody’s kid to be that kid. The kid that the teacher’s going, ugh. I want the teacher to have the support he or she needs to help the kid. And I want the student to have the support that he or she needs to be successful.
So sometimes that’s bringing somebody in that sometimes providing other services. But I don’t just look at the child. look at the system. Because here a lot, I have a surprising number of friends who are kindergarten teachers. I don’t know how that happened. It just did. But they tell me, you know, every year I get four or five kids that don’t have an IEP who probably should. And.
that makes the teacher’s job harder, that takes away from their ability to serve their other kid, and those four or five kids are not going to get their needs met. So I do try to look holistically as well and is the teacher happy? Can I support the teacher? And so in terms of when we’re about support for the child, that’s one of my thoughts too. And I’ll say to the teacher, what do you need to do in order to be able to serve this child?
and often they’ll tell me and then I’ll ask the team for it.
Federico Ramallo (25:18) Right, right. And sometimes they don’t know how much they can ask to a system, right? ⁓ Or they cannot build a case for it, right?
Leigh Monichon (25:23) Exactly.
I’m not saying I don’t… well that’s exactly and sometimes I can tell from what they’ve written and sometimes I hear things through the grapevine so you know anyway I get data.
Federico Ramallo (25:40) Right, right. Sometimes you have to read between the lines, interpret body language. Yes, yes. Yeah. One thing I’ve done with my son is to tell him, and this kind of happened because of the situation that he was going through in the school is tell me how you want to, you know, what happened at school, right? I don’t know if this, I think it happens with all kids, but everybody says, ⁓ fine.
Leigh Monichon (25:45) Yeah.
Federico Ramallo (26:05) And that’s it, right? So we start finding different strategies, different questions on, tell me something. Sometimes you had a laugh or something that makes you sad, right? To try to squeeze as much information as possible, ⁓ Because that way they can start talking about it, right? Yeah.
Leigh Monichon (26:06) Yeah.
Yeah.
Federico Ramallo (26:28) And that opened my eyes to see what was going on at school. Recently he told me that he cried. And I asked, OK, what happened? He’s like, well, I asked the teacher not to give us the answer to the exercise. And she did, so I cried.
Leigh Monichon (26:45) poor little guy.
Federico Ramallo (26:47) So yeah, I mean I understand where he was coming from but I’m thinking more that the teacher was following a schedule and she needed to move on but ⁓ he was very particular on that.
Leigh Monichon (26:57) Right, right.
fresh.
Yeah,
I feel ya.
Federico Ramallo (27:08) Yeah, and I know he’s very particular on those type of things, right? Yeah, so I told you I asked him to review my book, right, and do this editor work, right? And the files on the book start with the two, because we have a spreadsheet and the first line is two, the first line is the titles, right?
the second row is the one that has the first data if you like, right? so he didn’t like it, you know print me the file number 1 you’re printing me the file number 2 the 1 is missing, right? so it took me 5 minutes to show him the spreadsheet he still wouldn’t accept that it’s like the word is not in order because I’m starting with number 2 not number 1, right? so
Leigh Monichon (27:55) Yep.
Federico Ramallo (27:58) I understand that my son is very particular on those type of things.
Leigh Monichon (28:02) I think we all have our areas.
There’s some things I’m really picky about too, but I’m not sharing those today.
Federico Ramallo (28:04) Yes.
Yes, completely understand.
So what was one of the most impactful success stories you’ve been part of?
Leigh Monichon (28:14) I think I already ratted myself out on that, that young man that went from so disabled, he was not even in the classroom. He was one-to-one with somebody in an external room just to get through his day. And then we got him to a school that…
Federico Ramallo (28:33) Wow!
Leigh Monichon (28:39) was more behavior support focused and then they discovered he had so many behaviors that we didn’t know he was nobody knew he was dyslexic because we couldn’t get him to sit still and stop being active long enough to find out whether or not he could read so when we found out he was dyslexic then he got extra support around reading
And then a year later in an IEP meeting, he came long enough to read. And as I said earlier, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. mean, and that he’s gone now and what he, he, he barely even needs services. We have a few just because he’s about to transition to high school and that’s going to be a lot more stressful, but he’s, he’s probably my, my.
biggest success story but there are lots of other that aren’t quite as linear. I have a young man who
He just he’s very particular about a number of things like we were talking about but as long as he’s managed a certain way he’s a model student and does great if not he’s a wild young man and you’ve got a combination of behavior support support rewards careful choice we don’t get to choose the teacher in this area but
we can kind of suggest to the team what might work best and they often seem to try to work with it. Getting the right person and making sure she has the understanding. And this year he’s got some close friends which he didn’t before and he’s a successful member of his second grade. I mean that’s that that to me is exciting. The other the other thing is the number of kids who have learned how to read.
who have increased their personal care skills, who have graduated out of special ed. I mean, there’s a lot of little victories and there’s some really spectacular victories. I feel bad I can’t mention a lot more of my clients, but we only have an hour. But that’s the change in their lives and the change in their family’s lives. And as a parent, knowing that I’ve given that support
to them and helped him or her on their journey and the family.
Federico Ramallo (31:06) Right, right, yeah, it’s hard to choose one success story because it’s choosing your favorite son, it’s hard. It’s impossible, right? Yeah.
Leigh Monichon (31:08) Sorry, that was kind of…
it really is or even some kids that need just super high super high support. I had a mom who was just drowning single parent three kids with really high support needs worked with their district they’re now all in a really great school that’s giving them the support they need and ways to communicate that’s the other thing especially you know having had having a son similar giving somebody who has never communicated.
multiple ways to communicate speech therapy alternative and augmentative communication devices trialing devices getting them supportive tech this is Silicon Valley if they can’t get tech here where can they so being able to
Federico Ramallo (32:04) Right.
Leigh Monichon (32:07) help somebody communicate who has only ever been nonverbal and gestural and given a functional way to communicate, that makes me really happy.
Federico Ramallo (32:18) Right, right. I think you kind of mentioned it, but can you expand a little bit more on what role does empathy play on these situations?
Leigh Monichon (32:29) Empathy? That is a great question.
Federico Ramallo (32:30) Empathy, yeah.
Leigh Monichon (32:33) I used to get sick to my stomach for a month before each of my kids meetings. And he had six or eight meetings a year. I had an upset stomach a lot.
Mama bear, what can I say? I understand how they’re feeling.
I understand how important this is to them and I understand they want to be heard and want to feel like they’re doing the best for their child. So I think you can be good at this job and not be a parent. I genuinely do. But I do think it’s kind of an extra ace because I really get it, I’ve been there. And I kind of know what they’re anxious about. Plus I do it.
both an intake form and an interview with them before, you know, at the early stages of working together. But I think it really
It just makes it so much easier because we’re both kind of here and I understand the pet. The other thing is with as I tell parents, I care deeply about what happens to your child, but I don’t care the way you do. So it’s a little easier for me to advocate for their child because I tell parents it’s like having your heart on the table. And if the district pokes at your heart hurts. So.
Caring deeply but not having my heart on the table, I think helps me too. So I think I’m a better listener for it. I think I understand where they’re coming from better. And I think it gives me that extra bit of passion that allows me to be better at my job. I don’t think you can do this job if you don’t care about it.
Federico Ramallo (33:59) Right, right. Yeah, you come from a place of understanding, but also you need a little bit of emotional detachment because when it happens to your kid, as you mentioned, know, mama bear, all the emotions goes up, right? And having the cool to be able to go through, navigate through the, you know, the ordeal because it’s,
Leigh Monichon (34:08) Yeah.
Yeah.
Federico Ramallo (34:28) is challenging, right? Being able to have the coolness to give the right answers, to process, to move the process forward, right? Because an emotional outburst sometimes is not the right answer, right?
Leigh Monichon (34:41) In these meetings it rarely is. yeah, it’s better if we can keep it kind of business-like and if they’ve just talked unkind stuff about your kid, that can be hard.
Federico Ramallo (34:44) Right.
Yes. Yes. So you also mentioned resilience, right? Well, you describe resilience, Resilience, empathy, right? And coming from a place of experience, I think that’s a great combination, right?
Leigh Monichon (35:08) Yeah.
I do really think it helps. I understand the fight. I understand the toll it takes. I understand that you need breaks from it. For the parents that want it, I also do some… I’m not a counselor, but I’ll say. I know this is uncomfortable. I know this is hard. I’ll even tell my parents, if somebody needs to be bad cop, let me be bad cop.
I’ve developed skills as I’ve gotten older that I can say hard things nicely to the school team. But again, it’s not my child. It’s a level of caring, but it’s not quite the same.
Federico Ramallo (35:47) So, we talk about resilience, we talk about empathy, but also the other part that I don’t think we talk a little bit about is the role of regulations, right? How do you keep current on the changes on regulations to allow you to be more effective on the mission?
Leigh Monichon (36:06) That is a great question. Back when I first started with my son, we had to go to the library for encyclopedias. Dial-up was about a thing then, but it was in its early days. It’s so much easier now. I’m not a lawyer, and I have to be careful to not…
sound like I’m pretending to be a lawyer but as an advocate I watch what’s happening with the federal rules and then I watch what’s happening with the state rules because both of them govern the educational progress for our students. and so typically I’m on listservs. Understood.org is really good rights law.
I think they’re .com, they could be .org. Both are really good parent-centered websites that follow a lot of this stuff. And then just actually, I’m enough of an Ed nerd, I enjoy going and reading the rules. I know it’s weird. If you said that to me 20 years ago, would have been, what’s the matter with you? But they’re actually written fairly clearly. And if you understand them, which they’re not.
written that complicated, that could actually be quite effective.
Federico Ramallo (37:19) Right, right, because the system is bound to the rules, right?
Leigh Monichon (37:24) Often the school staff haven’t read them or think they understand them but not quite so I don’t get into legal Well this and that but I just I I understood my stick is this I Don’t know if you I’m showing my age here There used to be a show called Columbo where this guy would act like he was a little fuzzy and then you’d always
get the criminal in the end. I kind of do a polite version of that. I shouldn’t let my probably go out on the internet, but here we are. Oh, I’ve never heard of that rule before. Could you send me where I could find that? Could you send me a copy of that, please? You can’t get mad at me. I’m just asking questions. knowing what they are.
is key so that I can do that. like I said, I follow those sites and I look in journals that apply to the special ed communities. So because I have to stay up on those.
Federico Ramallo (38:24) Right, right. So just right when you’re leaving, one final question, right? As Colombo would say, you I have one final question, Yeah, yeah, yeah. One more question.
Leigh Monichon (38:29) sure.
You are familiar, Just one more question.
Federico Ramallo (38:39) Right when the other person just lowers their defenses, one final question, you know And I think that’s key because instead of confrontation, you use more the Socratic method by asking questions. I think that you might know or might not, but it’s more of an exploration. a non-confrontational, you know,
Leigh Monichon (38:43) Great.
Right.
Federico Ramallo (39:04) Yeah. And the realization that it’s not you versus whoever is in front of you is, you know, there’s a system, right? So as soon as you find the right rule and regulation that works in your favor, then when you point that out, the other person is obliged to follow that system, basically.
Leigh Monichon (39:13) Great.
Exactly. And thank you for leading me to this because now you’re getting me all even I’ve enjoyed this but even happier. So yes, I try to
Federico Ramallo (39:28) You
Leigh Monichon (39:33) I believe the people at the school want to do good. You don’t go into that line of work if you don’t want to help kids. I genuinely believe that they’re there to do the right thing and that systems can get in their way. I always and IEP meetings can be so stressful and so deadly serious. I always try to crack a little light hearted joke or email the team how happy I am to be working with them because a lot of them get anxious that an advocate is going to be theirs because some people take kind of a combative approach and I just want to
signal early on, I want to work with you. If I can make an IEP fun and effective, that’s great. And building relationships in my community, both with the schools and with families, only helps my kids.
even that much more. can have, and I mean I tell my parents before I do this, but I can have private conversations that say here’s what we think he really needs and we’ll talk about it at the meeting so they have a chance to think about it. And honestly, don’t you try a little harder to help people you like than somebody who’s in your face being aggressive all the time? I just think it’s a better way to do business and I think it’s a lot more fun.
Federico Ramallo (40:44) yes, yes and and the you know, I understand the position of of the teachers or the administratives at the organization where they they have to say no they have to reject because of the limitations of the system and and they have to take the the toll of the you know of the angry of the parents or whoever’s on their side, right so
Leigh Monichon (40:58) Great.
Thanks, Ed.
Federico Ramallo (41:10) I can understand how also is is very for them to, you know, another meeting where I’m going to be yelled at for, you know, for whatever reason, but I’m just following the system that I have in place and I have no authority to change it. Right. So.
Leigh Monichon (41:28) Who wants to go to a meeting where you’re going to get yelled at? I don’t. And if I could just add, often budget determines whether or not something happens, but they’re not allowed to tell you that. So they have to come up with another excuse. I mean…
Federico Ramallo (41:30) Right!
right
Leigh Monichon (41:44) That’s going to break you down a bit on the inside. mostly teams, I’m sure there’ll be exceptions and there always are, but most teams like working with me because I do try really hard to find that common ground and help them have helped the student. And.
tell me you know you’re reasonable and if my client’s way out there I’ll say you’re kind of way out there and I don’t think it’s going to get us where you want to go so could I suggest this so I’m always working for that cordial
working relationship and the advantage I have over my client is with my kid I never knew what we’d be doing in a year or two. With their child I can often see multiple paths in a few years into the future just because of the life experience and working with all these other kids. So I can say here are some paths we could go on. Here’s how we get there. I think that provides parents a lot of comfort too.
Federico Ramallo (42:37) We’re running out of time so I’ll squeeze one more question before we wrap it up but what’s the future for Aspire Advocacy? What are you planning in the future?
Leigh Monichon (42:47) Thank you for asking. We just spoke at a Stanford Autism Group the week before last. Their tech failed. Stanford! So we’re going to re-record that and send that out. I was lucky enough to… My partner that I started the business with had some health problems and her doctor said no stress. So she had to retire. A few years ago, I met a school person who was just…
Giving my kids what they needed, which I’m like, you’re kind of weird, but I like you. And we had coffee a couple years ago and she’s part of the business. So she’s not a parent of a student with disability, but she’s got a master’s in special ed and has run a department. So she keeps me organized and on my toes. So she and what’s great about her, she’s also the next generation, which.
Federico Ramallo (43:28) Nice.
Hahaha! ⁓
Leigh Monichon (43:40) You know, it’s exciting to create something and then have this young, bright, energetic person come into it because she keeps me on my toes, she keeps me modern, and I mean, in terms of the business, and I think she’s going to take the business great places into the future. you know, without her, I’d probably just closed down the business eventually when I retire, but it’s really exciting that it can continue on for…
as long as she does it and she’ll probably find other people. So I’m excited that we’ve built a good solid reputation in this valley and that we’ve made so much difference. Because I’ve had so many jobs in my life that I’ve liked, but I feel like this is what I was born to do and I feel like it’s what my new partner was born to do. And that is such a big gift.
Federico Ramallo (44:30) Yes, yes, I agree. I mean, you found the mission, you found purpose, and now you found legacy that your mission can move forward. Isn’t that exciting?
Leigh Monichon (44:44) I know, I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you’re absolutely, yeah, it is. And one, I think, you you learn a lot, I learned a lot about myself in starting a business too. So it’s also changed me inside as a person I am so grateful for it. I really am.
Federico Ramallo (44:59) ⁓
That’s amazing. That’s amazing. I’m truly happy for you. Yes.
Leigh Monichon (45:03) Thank you. Thank you.
Federico Ramallo (45:05) Awesome. Any final remarks before we wrap it up?
Leigh Monichon (45:09) Again, thank you for letting me talk about my favorite subject. It’s a treat for me and I have very much enjoyed our time together. Thank you.
Federico Ramallo (45:19) Yes, me too. I really enjoy it. I’m happy to be able to share your story and I’m looking forward to see where you take advocacy, Aspire Advocacy next.
Leigh Monichon (45:31) Thank you. Stanford wants us to start a weekly podcast. I said yeah in my free time. We’ll see.
Federico Ramallo (45:38) Happy to share my experience. Yeah. Let me know. be really helpful.
Leigh Monichon (45:43) I don’t think it’s going to happen soon,
but I know how to find you. So thank you for the offer. And again, thank you for this. I had a blast.
Federico Ramallo (45:46) Yes, yes, absolutely.
That’s great, great to hear. Yeah, I had a blast as well.